How to Bunker Down Good

how to bunker down goodSo here we all are, really in the same boat. Except it’s not the mighty ocean and indifferent winds that we have to contend with, it’s ourselves. Some of us will learn how to bunker down good. Others, I’m afraid, will not.

We, whether we like it or not have been ordered to ‘withdraw’ or to put it another way, Stay at Home’.

At the moment, we can take it or leave it and thankfully most of us are taking it.

Unfortunately, there are some idiots around who think they are somehow immune to the virus and it will be them who will be responsible for when ‘Bunkering Down by Law’ hits the statute books.

So, how’s it going so far?

Personally? At first, Pants. However, I have since made good use of the time and I think I might have solved the problem and come up with the answers on  ‘How to Bunker Down Good’.

There is I think, one major rule.

ROUTINE.

We must stick to a routine. If we don’t have one, make one up.

Time no longer exists in its normal fashion. Night and Day no longer matter. You may have noticed that the virus has not only messed with us, it has altered the very fabric of time (as they say in Star Trek). The Space Time Continuum is not what it was. 

Therefore, we must, at all costs fight to regain control. And to do this we need to take notice of our clocks and perhaps more importantly, our alarms.

SETTING ALARMS.

The first sign that something is wrong and that we are slipping casually towards the abyss, is when we begin getting up at late. That moment when we feel that it doesn’t really matter what time we get up because we have nothing to get up for, is the first danger sign. FIGHT IT. DO NOT LANQUISH.

The fact of the matter is that this is your life and the virus works in many different ways. One of its lines of attack is to sow confusion and a false sense of security.

Fall for this and it won’t be long before you don’t get up at all. Not even to eat. You will fade away. And if the virus has spread no-one, because they are infected also, will even notice your absence. YOU WILL NOT BE MISSED. So, GET UP THE SAME TIME EVERY DAY.

EAT ON TIME.

YOU MUST EAT regularly. Three meals a day are recommended. Mark out breakfast as the most important meal of the day. Not necessarily because of the healthy options on offer but the very fact that to eat breakfast means you have to get up to make it. ONCE UP. STAY UP.

Red Alert. This is where Bunkering Down gets tough.

DO NOT POTTER.

There is nothing worse than pottering especially aimlessly. Moving ornaments around for no apparent reason is probably the most serious sign that something is very wrong.

Especially if after a day or two said ornaments are back in the place where they started.

A journal is a great counter to pottering.

If you, as you most certainly will at some time in your incarceration,  have read everything in your household then writing is the alternative occupation.

KEEP A DIARY. However, do not make the mistake of thinking that anyone will be interested in the contents of your journal.

DO NOT attempt to read it out aloud to anyone if you want to survive unscathed.

Another way to pass the time is to experiment with your appearance.

Spending time in front of the mirror will not, mark my words be seen as vanity, more of ‘taking an interest in yourself’.

Explore hairstyles.

Go bald or, as you are no longer ‘out and about’ and therefore free from ridicule give yourself the hairstyle you have always wanted but always been afraid to ask your barber for. I refer of course to the ever-popular but rarely seen, ‘Mohican’.

Grow a beard or moustache. Dye your hair.

The permutations (see what I did there?) are endless.

My final advice on how to bunker down good…

At all costs, Stay away from board games.

Always touted in troubled times, the board game is the source of much irritation, argument and in some cases, homicide. Especially the so-called old favourites, monopoly and scrabble.

Stress can easily ensue during the playing of these due to their competitive nature. From the first throw of the dice, to the ‘discussion’ over whether the word ‘bibble’ really exists.

These are just a few of my Tips to how to bunker down good and stay safe during times of great hardship. If you would like to add anything please use the comments box below.

Peace.

 

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